NEGLIGENCE OR DILIGENCE

Surgeons forgot surgical tools inside a patient and stitched him up - Gory!

I was once neglected in a hospital theatre by the same doctor who was meant to operate on me.

I was lying there on the cold metal bed, the AC blowing directly at me, and instead of preparing or even checking on me, this man was watching TikTok videos.

He placed the oxygen mask on my face with one hand very carelessly, while the other hand kept scrolling on his phone.

His eyes didn’t leave the screen for a second. He didn’t even realize he was pressing down on my nose with the mask.

In that moment, it hit me: the very thing that was supposed to help me breathe, to keep me alive through surgery, could have been the same thing to kill me, just because someone wasn’t paying attention.

TikTok, you do this one.

I’ve heard so many gruesome stories about hospital negligence. One that still haunts me is the one where surgeons forgot a pair of scissors and cotton wool inside a man they operated on. They stitched him up like everything was fine.

He got discharged the next day, went home, and started feeling severe pains. He returned to the hospital, and after they checked him properly, they found he was literally carrying “contraband” inside him. Sadly, he died before they could open him up again.

This isn’t some made-up tale; it actually happened. The man was the husband of my secondary school nurse. It was a tragic, painful story.

Even in my own family, we’ve experienced something similar. Back in 2008, my elder sister had an appendicitis surgery. They cut her open without giving her any sedative. It was only when she screamed in pain that they realized they hadn’t administered the anesthesia.

Stories like these are not rare. Medical negligence has cost so many lives, and it’s heartbreaking. But the truth is, negligence isn’t something that only happens in hospitals.

It shows up in our everyday lives, in our work, our relationships, how we treat people, and how we handle responsibility.

How my size makes me an eligible “negligee”

I got an invitation from one of my pastors to come train his staff on social media management. When I got to the reception, I greeted the receptionist. She looked up briefly and mumbled a reply.

But when I told her I was the facilitator for the training they were having that day, she dropped her phone, looked up properly and smiled. “You’re welcome, ma. Please sit down ma,” she said.

From that moment, I lost count of how many times she called me “ma”.

It’s not the first time something like that has happened.

Back in school, in my final year, 100 level students treated me like their mate. I didn’t “look” like a senior to them. They’d walk past me in the lodge without greeting, but you’d see the same people almost kneeling for 200 or 300 level students who looked the part, who looked and dressed older.

That’s when I realized that a lot of times, people respond to what they see, not who you really are.

They don't rate you until they think they should. Until they hear your title. Until they realize who you came as.

I have also been negligent myself. I went to pay my friend a visit at his aunt’s house in Lagos, a classmate from school. He had told me his aunt went on vacation and took the kids with her.

But when I got inside, I saw a small lad lying on the floor clutching the remote. I went in, greeted the boy, and sat down.

Immediately I sat down, my friend walked in after me and said, “That’s my uncle.”

It wasn’t a small lad after all.

So I greeted him again, this time, I said “Good day, sir.”

He turned around to look at me. After a long look, he began to correct me. He said that if his nephew were coming to introduce me as his wife, I had already failed the test, because I only greeted him properly after I found out who he was.

But the truth is, I honestly thought he was his aunt’s kid or something, because of how young he looked. And even though I greeted him, I didn’t know who he was to add that extra layer of respect.

But I was in no way going to disrespect my friend’s uncle, so I said nothing.

I guessed I acted diligently in what he thought was negligence.

A lesson I learned in football (*expresses intense cringe*)

I hate football. I just don’t get it. Why would grown men (and women) subject themselves to the painful act of sprinting towards a piece of rubber with leather panels on top?

But my dad is a die-hard, he displays uncontrollable gestures when his team is losing the match, and because my mum is late, no one is usually available to caution him when he gets into his *mode.

So that evening, I decided to stay in the living room to warn him once he started his habit. I was on my phone when suddenly I heard him shout. A player got a yellow card, and right after that, the referee showed a red card because the player had already received one yellow card before.

But then, like he was in a frenzy, the player charged straight at the referee. It took three of his teammates holding him back to get him out of the way. I heard the commentator say he was the captain of his team.

What indiscipline!

The camera moved to the coach, who was shouting something at the player. But when it cut back to the player, he just waved the coach away, hissed, spat, and walked off, probably cursing.

When people lose control or ignore rules and respect, it’s more than just a moment of anger or frustration. It shows a serious breakdown in responsibility. This kind of behaviour is a form of negligence because the person is neglecting their role and duties within the system they’re part of.

I don’t watch or play football (not even in my next life), but even I know that in sports, fair play and respect for officials are the foundation that keeps the game running smoothly and fairly.

When a player attacks a referee, they aren’t just being disrespectful; they’re ignoring the responsibility they have to uphold the integrity of the game. They’re neglecting the rules that everyone agreed to follow and putting the whole team, and even the sport, at risk.

This kind of negligence affects everyone involved: teammates, coaches, fans, and the sport’s reputation. It creates chaos, breaks down trust, and encourages others to behave similarly. When leaders or captains act out like that, it sends the wrong message and shows a failure to take responsibility seriously.

I lead the creative team in my Church, and I have had to let go of really talented people. I believe that while competence is important, character is the door that the key of competence opens. Both need to be top-notch for someone to truly deserve praise.

I believe in upholding the right values, so negligence like this is about more than carelessness; it’s about choosing to ignore the standards that keep a system working. Whether it’s on a football field, in a hospital, or everyday life, neglecting your role and responsibilities leads to disorder, harm, and sometimes even bigger consequences.

The Bible in 1 Peter 2:17 says: "Show proper respect to everyone…”

Let’s talk about how Wizkid plagued me

One stronghold that held firm over my life was secular music.

Back in my University days, I wanted to join the workforce of my fellowship so bad, but that would mean changing my lifestyle. I’d have to cut off all social activities, departmental and faculty dinners, the University beauty pageant, and all the other events the SUG social director had planned for the year, for the rest of my time at the university.

That would mean that I’d have to stop listening to secular music. So what was going to happen to the Wizkid playlist on my phone? Or the special attention I got when I slowly whined to Chris Brown’s R&B during our departmental dinners?

How was I going to explain to my coursemates that the life of the parties in the department and faculty dinners was no longer the life of the party?

“Don’t get me wrong, I love God and I want to serve Him,” I told my friend, as I held the RCF workers’ manual in my hand, “but what will happen to the Wizkid playlist on my phone?”

And my Nokia Express Music? What would happen to its new memory card? Haba! You too think am na. I knew I couldn’t have it all.It just wasn’t feasible, or so I thought. I’d have to join the workforce in another life.

And just like that, I missed a great chance to be sold out for God while I was an undergraduate. Thank God I met Him during NYSC.

Wo, let’s wrap this up

All these moments, whether it’s the doctor distracted by TikTok during surgery, the receptionist not recognizing me until I “prove” my role, or even my own moment of misjudging a smallish-looking man, neglect, or lack of attention, can lead to serious consequences.

Although I was later told that the surgeon did all that drama to distract me, so I wouldn’t notice when they injected the sedative into my body. I’m not sure how accurate that story is, but I’ll take it.

Negligence isn’t always about big, life-or-death situations. Sometimes it’s in the small moments when people don’t pay full attention, don’t show respect, or don’t take responsibility seriously.

In my sister’s hospital story, negligence almost cost her life because the doctors weren’t fully present. About the 100 level students’ ignorance, the truth is, people’s neglect to see beyond appearances causes division and misunderstanding.

Even my own moment of missing the true identity of a person shows how assumptions and the absence of careful attention can lead to awkward or disrespectful situations.

The football story ties in, too: when people lose control or ignore rules and respect (like the player attacking the referee), it shows a breakdown in responsibility, which is a form of negligence toward fair play and order.

So, negligence isn’t just about medical errors, it’s about how a lack of care, attention, or respect can hurt relationships, trust, and sometimes even lives.

I have many more stories of negligence, both my own and those of others, but time and space won't permit me to share them all here.

In the meantime, I’d love for you to join me live on Instagram on Friday, the 30th of May, as we dive deeper into this conversation.

I will also be preaching at my Church on Sunday morning, something I’ve never done before. You can catch the details here:

It’s a big deal for me, and because you’re a part of my family, I’d really like for you to show up. We’ll be live on YouTube and Facebook that day. So plssss, save the date.