SCROLL, COMPARE, REPEAT: Breaking Free from the Trap of Digital Comparison

I’m not a bitter person, but lately, I’ve come to despise a certain man whom I’ve worked with for the past 3 months.

A client, who came, literally pleading with me to help grow his company page on social media at a fee that was very low compared to the amount I charge for that kind of work.

A month into our work relationship, he suddenly started having ideas about how social media should be run, how designs should be made, what analytics meant, and how the audience should be treated.

Mind you, he admitted to having absolutely no idea about how things worked, when we first spoke early in the year. But after I started the work, I guess I must have made it look easy. Then, he started to have opinions.

Of course, it’s his company, his vision, and his idea, so he should communicate what he wants. The issue was that he couldn’t express what he wanted without resorting to derogatory remarks, which eventually strained our working relationship.

Just like that, he started to compare what we did with what he saw others doing, and because he was comparing our project, which just left the idea phase, to brands that already had names for themselves, I knew we were headed for disaster.

Anyway, the matter long, it’s probably a story for another day that I never want to tell again.

The following paragraphs in this newsletter are actually a remix of a podcast episode I recorded earlier this week. I’ve also shared it on the blog, so you might’ve come across it there too. But as always, I’ve sprinkled some extra sauce, vibes, and heart into this version, like I do in all my newsletters, so I have a feeling you’ll enjoy reading it here even more.

Here’s the podcast, if you’d like to listen:

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We live in a world where everyone is connected, yet so many feel disconnected from their own path, purpose, and pace.

Social media has become more than just a tool; it’s a mirror, a scoreboard, and sometimes, a stage.

And while it’s easy to say “don’t compare yourself,” the truth is, comparison is often automatic. It’s the most human thing to do.

But here’s the thing: comparison isn’t always bad; if used wisely, it can inspire.

The danger lies in comparison that cripples, the kind that makes you feel like you’re never doing enough, being enough, or growing fast enough.

Perhaps that’s what happened to my client. Crippling comparison.

Whether you’re a content creator, business owner, Church media lead, or just someone trying to show up with intention, this conversation is for you.

Let’s talk about the real cost of comparison and how we can trade it for clarity, peace, and purpose.

The Dangers of Comparison Culture and How It Subtly Shapes Our Creativity

Comparison doesn’t always show up loud; sometimes it whispers. You see someone else’s “success,” and suddenly, your pace feels too slow.

You see another creative’s aesthetic, and suddenly, your own feels unrefined.

Without realizing it, your creative decisions start to shift, not because of divine direction, but because of digital pressure.

I cannot explain to you the number of times I changed my Instagram feed, just because I wanted it to ‘align with trends’.

After so many iterations, I finally stuck with this.

This pressure takes away your originality, and you begin to curate, not create. You begin to perform instead of express. You lose your originality because you are trying to mirror someone else’s momentum.

Comparison culture tricks you into thinking everyone else is winning, fast, big, and effortlessly.

But most of what we see is edited. Staged. Highlighted. The truth is, in digital spaces, carefully curated content and highlight reels reign supreme. And if you’re not careful, comparison will have you building what God never sent you to build.

Why Building in Obscurity Might Be Your Greatest Blessing

Everyone wants to be seen, but not everyone is ready to be revealed.

I have learned that there’s something sacred about hidden seasons. When you’re not trending. When the likes are low. When your inbox isn’t flooded with opportunities.

It’s in obscurity that God does some of His best work in us: He sharpens our skills, He anchors our identities, and He purifies our motives.

Obscurity protects you from premature exposure. It keeps your heart soft, your focus clear, and your ego in check. I believe that those seasons of crickets’ sounds are seasons of preparation, not punishment.

So, don’t despise the season where it feels like no one is clapping, that’s often the season heaven is cheering the loudest. It’s not punishment, it’s preparation.

How to Stay Rooted in God’s Timeline, Not the Internet’s

Let’s be honest, the internet is LOUD!

There’s always someone launching something, achieving something, celebrating a milestone, announcing a new product, and so on.

But heaven’s timing is different. It’s not about virality, it’s about fruitfulness. God is not in a rush; if He leads you, you won’t live in a frenzy.

To stay rooted, track your progress by faithfulness, not followers. Constantly ask yourself: “Am I building what God asked me to build, or what social media pressured me to?”

When you root your timeline in God’s pace, you’ll find peace even when you are not “there” yet. Because you know who’s leading you.

What It Takes to Create Work That Has Eternal Relevance, Not Just Temporary Virality

Virality is exciting, it’s interesting, but it fades. And once it fades, the pressure to keep up sets in.

But I’ve found that legacy doesn’t always go viral; it goes deep. If you want to create work that truly matters, focus more on making impact than on making impressions.

Be okay with depth over reach.

I always ask myself, “Will this content still matter 5 years from now?”

What’s eternal lasts beyond applause, beyond trends, beyond even you. That kind of work requires clarity of purpose, conviction to keep going, and consistency in the mundane.

The truth is, you don’t need to be everywhere, you don’t even need to be the loudest. You just need to be faithful.

Because what’s built in obedience carries a weight that algorithms can never manufacture.

The Social Comparison Theory

If 20 people are in a room, chances are 18 of them are on their phones, and if they spend about 30 minutes in that room, 25 of those minutes will likely be spent scrolling through social media.

And do you know what happens while they scroll?

They subconsciously start comparing their lives, their progress, their success, their beauty, even their relationship with God, against a curated feed of other people’s highlights.

This isn’t just a casual observation; it’s backed by psychology, something called Social Comparison theory.

This theory suggests that people determine their own social and personal worth based on how they measure up to others. And in this digital age, we are constantly measuring likes, shares, comments, engagement, aesthetics, followers, and virality.

But here’s the thing: comparison is a thief. It robs us of contentment, clarity, and confidence.

It’s easy to look around and feel like you’re “behind.” But a kingdom woman (and a man) doesn’t build for clout, she builds for purpose. I though hard and long about it, I looked at the trap my (ex)client has put himself into, I read the comments and posts people publish online, and I came up with these:

✅ Likes don’t build legacy

✅ Virality doesn’t guarantee value

✅ Being seen doesn’t always mean being aligned.

As a creative, I’ve learned that building something that lasts goes beyond surface-level appeal.

Whether it’s leading the the digital team for a global church or building a digital agency from scratch (and I’m doing both), I’ve had to lean into three core truths:

Clarity. Conviction. Consistency.

And above all, purpose.

So to you who is reading right now, who’s trying to show up, grow, and glorify God through her work, you’re not late, you’re not forgotten, you’re not “less than” because of someone else’s timeline.

You are being led. Build with that in mind. Build with intention. Because what you’re building in obedience will outlive every trend and outshine every algorithm.

So here’s your reminder:

Put your phone down for a moment.

Breathe.

And remember who you are and whose you are.

You were never called to mirror the masses. You were called to model the Master.

In a world obsessed with optics, choose obedience. In a world chasing clout, choose calling. In a world built on comparison, choose contentment.

You don’t have to prove anything to be valuable. You don’t have to go viral to be impactful. And you don’t have to be everywhere to be in purpose.

Let this newsletter be your reset. Your reminder that building slowly, deeply, and with God is not a setback, it’s a strategy.

So go ahead, post, share, create. But do it from a place of wholeness, not pressure. Let your work reflect your walk, not your worry. Because in the end, what’s built in obedience will echo in eternity.